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On Manias Unattained
Several months ago when I was trapped in the ever-expanding travail of properly formatting my graduation thesis, I kept dreaming of the period of state-enforced unemployment I would experience in March and April while waiting to get my diploma, which is required before applying for a work permit. I imagined how much writing I would get done, how many books I’d read, how many sidewalks I’d walk along, how many revelations about human existence I’d have, and so on.
Alas I have been stuck at the first of these. My only hobby is sitting in front of my computer with a word processor open, hoping to write Great Literature, but instead getting distracted browsing Soulseek in order to fill in holes in my discographies for bands I don't even like. Since I'm massively unproductive, I feel like I have to spend even more time failing at writing, so it ends up becoming an all day activity.
When I watched Long Vacation many years ago, it sure did make the unemployed life in a stagnant economy after giving up one's dreams seem a lot more glamorous than whatever it is I'm doing. Maybe I should be standing on roof tops beneath Konami signs, hanging out at bars, or going to see the Ben Folds Five live in concert — all the while spending away what remains of my savings. Maybe then I’d finally learn something about this world and the people who live in it.
Essays:Contact me at saddleblasters [at] gmail [etc]
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